This was not a good day. There were events at work that triggered a massive and lengthy anxiety attack that worsened as I realized mistakes that I had made. Holding up well under the pressure was insufficient and the sense of unease grew. I felt as though a cardiac event were occurring. My mind was... Continue Reading →
Withdrawn
I have no life outside of work and it is beginning to wear on me. The problem is that I am constantly exhausted. Granted, my social skills have atrophied over the years of being withdrawn from personal connections. I miss the people in my life, but even the thought of social interaction brings crippling exhaustion.... Continue Reading →
An addled mind
I have posted little in some time. Depression will do that. I have been reasonably functional, but nothing has been able to hold my attention long. My responsibilities at work drains me of energy, leaving little to care about other pursuits. This isn't too far from the normality of my life for some time, just... Continue Reading →
In Pursuit of Salvation, Part Four
He felt Teddy’s paw settle on his shoulder, the grip reassuring him. Barnabus sighed and looked up into the squinted eyes. “Should I stay away from other bears?” The other bear stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. “No, the younger ones still need you to help. But stop dragging them into... Continue Reading →
At the mercy of my mind
I left work early yesterday, an uncommon thing for me. I felt ill in so many ways that it must surely be genuine. As the day and considerable sleep passed, it became apparent that it was not viral or such, but originated in stress, depression, and probably a number of other factors that created illness... Continue Reading →
Poem
I want to know your soul Listen to the desires That warm the heart Touch my chest Feel my heartbeat It thuds when you speak Hammering in my chest Tell me your weaknesses I want your vulnerabilities Show me your humanity Inform me of mine Sharing our inner selves Your dreams and fears Everything that... Continue Reading →
In Pursuit of Salvation, part three
Barnabus traveled the dreams and nightmares of one person after another, traveling to someone seated in an airplane. He materialized in an unattended corner, staying there through the flight, listening to the dreams and nightmares, addressing the latter as needed. The flight was long, arriving in Europe later, where he resumed his dream journey until... Continue Reading →
In Pursuit of Salvation, Part Two
“You must go to the other side of the world to the King’s Quarters, the place Ptolemy conquered, and the place of wonder carved into the cliffs.” “How helpful,” he said sardonically. Stratha began to speak again, but Barnabus had already turned to the leave. Her words trailed off as the door closed on them.... Continue Reading →
In Pursuit of Salvation, Part One
“I warned you.” Hamish’s voice was soft, lacking in accusations. He knew the situation was beyond the bear’s ability to foresee. He and Barnabus stood over Montrose’s comatose body, the sounds of the cafe drifting up through the floor. They stared at their friend, willing him to awaken, but nothing could rouse him. Every attempt... Continue Reading →
