The other day I found a comment in the spam folder that looked like it was a genuine person rather than a bot, but perhaps it was. Regardless, it was attached to a blog post regarding the loss of a friend that was more of the little brother I wished I had. I discussed a bit about grief, sadness, and how they intersect with mental illness. “Burl” decided to inform me of his regrets at wasting the time reading the post and referred to it as a plea for attention. Burl doesn’t seem to understand that that is the root of all blogs. We are seeking attention for content provided that has meaning to us. I stopped writing scholarly works years ago if that is what he was expecting. I mean, hey, I could upload some of my college papers from history courses or literary analysis. Maybe I will do that anyway? Yes, I want to draw attention to my site. That was the entire point when I began.
Initially Quiet Dreams was a blog that was intended as a public journal of sorts, exploring my perspectives on life and living with mental illness. Many of these posts are written in the moment, not as a later reflection on the experience. If you read one that seems to illustrate that I am having a mental breakdown, then I probably was. The purpose behind this is help me normalize within myself how I interact with the world and the effects it has on me. This is incredibly cathartic and therapeutic, although the possibility that this could be useful to someone else also crossed my mind.
People can have the same diagnosis, yet experience mental health issues very differently. Sometimes we may stumble across someone whose experiences are similar and that is a sense of relief, knowing that someone else is affected in the same fashion. It is also distressing, though, to know someone else is experiencing life the same way. I always hope that someone reading my blog entries sees something relatable to them, and perhaps give them comfort in knowing that they are not alone.
Again, Quiet Dreams started out as a blog relating to life and mental health, but it later came to include poetry and two fiction serials. It has become my source for therapy (which my therapist agrees with) by expressing the things I cannot say or properly articulate verbally, to share poetry that I hope others can find their own meanings, and to create impossible worlds and, hopefully, characters that are so compelling as to continue bringing people back.