I have been so many caricatures to so many people
A unified whole has rarely been experienced
Some have seen what I allowed
Others have seen what they assumed
Yet others saw what they imagined me to be
Precious few have observed the reality
Camouflage and appearances have been my defense
Within a world that has never accepted all of who I am
Some have been unnerved by the beast
A rage not always wholly suppressed
Sometimes righteous
Other times misguided
Yet still it is me
I have shown some my vulnerabilities
They sneered at weakness
Used it to their advantage
I have long hidden behind various facades
To conceal myself among those who would not accept
Lies and whispers have followed me
Most have died away
Others remain, suspicious of what is in my heart
The castoffs of society
The misfits and the forgotten
They have been my tribe
Although even among them i remain an outsider
Always something apart
Never a unified whole with the world
Searching for who would accept all of my soul
Should I dare trust enough to reveal it
An illusory person
That exists solely within my dreams
I think most people have a part of them they hide away from the rest of the world. Either out of fear or shame. I don’t think you’re an outsider. You’re an insider to me. 😊 But I know how you feel. I’ve often felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. Like I was in the way every where I go or just invisible (until I do something stupid). Even though I often don’t feel like I deserve to be seen and heard, I want to be, to a certain extent. (Not as in drama llama) And I should be. And you deserve it too.
…ok I keep losing my train of thought and my eyelids are getting heavy. So I’ll shut up now. Take care.
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