Self-Defeat

I do nothing but apologize, 

Though I cannot bear the burden in whole.

Condemnation, repulsion, ridicule;

Why must I be the reviled,

When I do not know where it went wrong?

Sloth, gluttony, apathy;

Consumption is an escape.

Why is it such a crime for one who belongs nowhere?

Coward, filth, fool;

Why is it my guilt

When I have nothing else to fill my existence?

Perversion, arrogance, hubris;

What else can there be

When the only trusted comfort is in self-satisfaction?

Idiocy, mani, negativism;

Where else can i turn

When food is the only comfort remaining?

Cry baby, emotional, bipolar;

It is the purpose of all to hurt,

Or so it seems from the hollow feelings that I am familiar with.

Loser, worthless, incompetant;

But, then, what else is there

When all i have is hurt and emptiness.

Emo, ass kisser, asshole;

How much grief can be endured

When one does not know how a relationship runs?

One thought on “Self-Defeat

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  1. I’m feeling incredibly defeated today too. And here I was thinking about aplogizing for my (probably nonsensical) rant on my blog. But now I fight the urge to do it again. Also I’m fighting the urge to eat all the candy in the house. Death by diabetes. Won’t that be fun….I’m sorry. I’m doing it again.
    I do hope and pray for the best for you. I’d love to see you filled with joy. It’ll happen.

    Liked by 1 person

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